1. If you stop to use the bathroom on a run and return home with just one sock.
2. If your only reason for purchasing vaseline is to lube up your nipples before a long run.
3. If you talk about your running shoes like they are a car. "Yea, I've got about 600 miles on these babies. They look a little rough on the outside, but lace 'em up and they'll still purr like a kitten."
4. If ice crystals form on your face while running and you think it's COOL.
5. If halfway in to your run, you pray for the miraculous appearance of a porta-potty.
6. If you show up to a road race and pray for short lines at the porta-potties.
7. If your finisher medals are hanging from the antlers of your mounted trophy buck.
8. If you have your running shorts on beneath your dress pants.
9. If you've ever thought about getting a tattoo that says "Born to Run."
10. If you have a tattoo that says "Born to Run".
11. If you have ever used super glue to "fix" your racing shoes.
12. If you have ever tried to chase a skunk on a run.
13. If your idea of speedwork is trying to get away from your neighbor's cocker spaniel.
14. If you lost a toenail from running and you showed it off with a sense of accomplishment.
15. If the whitest part of your body is underneath your running watch.
16. If you judge the color of your urine to determine your level of hydration.
17. If the word Fartlek is a normal word in your vocabulary and it doesn't make you laugh or embarassed to say it.
18. If you have ever run on the treadmill with nothing but your underwear on.
19. If the most time you spend in your truck is to measure how far you ran.
20. If you are proud of having all 10 toenails.
21. If you've ever looked in the mirror and thought to yourself, "Dang, these really short running shorts make me look sexy."
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1 comment:
Loved your list ... but I've taken a death vow to never allow myself to wear short-shorts for any reason. If I do, my wife and friends have the right to kill me :)
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