WHY?!?

I haven't posted in quite some time. Mostly because of time constraints but also because I have had so much to think about in the last month that it has been hard enough just to process my thoughts. I know everything happens for a reason, and I am convinced God has a plan for me. I read a really good piece by Max Lucado yesterday. It was called "Trusting the Master". Lucado wrote about how his dog freaks out when he drives through the car wash, and how he always tries to calm the dog. "It's okay buddy" and "I do this all the time" and "Everything is going to be alright". Of course the dog doesn't understand any of that. The dog just hears the loud beating of water and soap against the car. I can relate to that dog right now. It seems as though I am caught up in a major whirlwind, I have no idea what's going on, and I'm starting to freak out a little bit.

To recap, as a first year head CC coach, I inherited a bedraggled team where 3 of last years top 5 either quit the team or transferred to other schools. When it was all said and done, my team became the first in 8 years not to qualify for the state meet. I don't want anybody else to tell me it's not my fault . . . . I know that. But that doesn't seem to make me feel any better. Since the end of the CC season just two weeks ago, one of my best friends has lost his job, I have practically been told I'm not a very good basketball coach, and yet I have been asked to coach both of the school's subvarsity teams. I might add that the two subvarsity teams are a combined 0-9 to start the season. Am I whining? Yes I am. Because just like that dog, I don't understand WHY any of this is happening to me.

I am far from being a perfect person, but I think I am a pretty good guy. I am a hard worker, I am loyal, kind and compassionate, I put others before myself, I do my job to the best of my ability and I always strive to do what is best for the kids. So, WHY?!?! I feel so crushed, humiliated, walked on, and overlooked. I am pouting, and I know it. This is not the time to be selfish, and I know it.

Car washes only last a few minutes, and I realize this time in my life will pass. I need to trust my master and have faith that he knows what he is doing. I need patience and prayers.